As married people, it is now acceptable for us to admit that we have sex.
Shocking, I know. (Brian's momma, if you read this, let's just pretend this is all a made up story where the people aren't real and the plot line doesn't matter).
Anyway, before we were married, Brian and I had this running joke that we would "honeymoon like rabbits" when we escaped to Florida, based off of the Orbits "Take Back Your Vacation" commercial.
What really happened? We arrived in Florida at 2am after our wedding, checked into a gross and soggy hotel room where I proceeded to start itching, slept fitfully for 5 hours, then packed up, argued with everyone from the desk manager at the hotel, the Arab guy on the help hotline from Travelocity, and my grandmother about getting a refund, drove around for 5 hours anxiously trying to find a nice yet inexpensive place to stay in Orlando, Florida at the last second, and finally stumbled, exhausted, upon Mystic Dunes Golf Club and Resort.
Anyway, after that rocky start, and not to mention the angry red rash all over my body, sexy was not the word to describe our trip. We did have a wonderful, amazing time at the resort, and aside from my random allergy (which disappeared mysteriously two days after we got home), I loved our honeymoon.
Then it was back to work full time for both of us, and by the time I stumble home smelling like poo and baby vomit on Brian's day off, or he comes home to me snoring at 11pm, the "honeymooning like rabbits" has been few and far between.
However, we are trying to keep the romance alive. The other day, I was feeling particularly "in the mood", and decided to surprise Brian. I casually went to the bathroom while he sat on the couch playing guitar, stripped off all of my clothes and brushed my teeth. I noticed the guitar had stopped, and I peeked around the corner to see the living room was empty.
Maya was huffing indignantly at the bottom of our closed bedroom door (she absolutely hates it when we close any door in the house) so I guessed that Brian was in the bedroom getting ready for bed. I tiptoed quickly down the hall to our bedroom, then threw open the door with a "Rawrrr!!" in all of my butt nekked glory.
What did I find?
Brian, similarly butt nekked in an attempt to surprise me, had been bent over straightening his old man slippers next to the bed. Upon my loud and sudden arrival, he simultaneously straightened up, grabbed his "boys", then leaped across the bed while shrieking like a girl.
Cue bent-over-I've-never-laughed-so-hard-oh-my-god-I'm-crying-that-was-so-funny laughter from me and post-adrenaline rush "I'm still alive" laughter from Brian, still protectively cupping the family jewels. Very sexy.
In the case of fight or flight, I guess we now know where Brian falls.
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